A few obserations about Frozen


1. After giving such stellar parenting advice about suppressing emotions, does anyone know why the hell the parents left their kids?

I mean WTF is up with Disney hating parents? They always die or don’t even exist. Bambie’s mom? Shot. Dumbo’s mom? Locked up. Ariel? Does she even have a mom? What about Snow White? Well, I looked it up and her mom “died shortly after her birth”. Also she was 12 years old and roaming around the woods talking to animals and shacking up with 7 dudes.

2. What’s in that high altitude mountain air? It’s like the 2×4 was magically removed from Elsa’s ass and she went all a sex kitten, va-va-voom when she built her ice palace. Whatever it is she’s breathing in,  I wanna bottle that shit and sell it.

3. Thank you Disney for showing our girls that men can be scum who should not be trusted so quickly. Seriously, I know plenty of adult women who could learn from this and stop crying every time they find out their Prince Charming is a mooching ass loser.  Your man will be a bit of fixer-upper …  and let’s be honest, so are you. I’m down with realistic expectations and glad Disney caught on. The cherry on top of the ‘this-is-real-life sundae’ is Anna decking the douche nugget in the face. The double standard of domestic violence is fine by me.

4. Did Olaf really not have a nose before Anna impaled him with a carrot? I don’t recall a nose-less a snowman.

5. ” I don’t have a skull … Or bones.”   Yea, that’s not really an observation but it cracks me the hell up every time.