Why I Don’t Totally Suck


1. I said “ass” in front of my kids … ok, fine…. maybe I said more than just  “ass” … then told them they can’t say bad words.

2. After sternly telling my 4-year-old he couldn’t have mini donuts at bedtime, I quickly shoved 3 in my mouth and closed up the bag all stealthy and ninja like.

3. I counted my kid to a 3 (3 strikes you’re out kind of thing) and then did absolutely nothing.

4. I yelled at my kids to stop all their yelling.

5. I lectured my 9-year-old about sounding bossy or condescending when talking to her brother, then turned around and did the same thing to hubby … oops.



1. Didn’t strangle any kids.

2. Didn’t let anyone starve to death – not even the dog.

3. Didn’t drink an entire bottle of wine in a single sitting.

4. Kept kids relatively clean.

5. Didn’t drink before noon …….. many days.

6. Didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night, change my identity and start a new life in Mexico.

There ya have it … the ‘right’ things list is longer than the ‘wrong’ things list, obviously I rock.

maria messyI said ‘relatively’ clean


8 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Totally Suck

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