The housekeeping standards that have become acceptable after baby #3 make my head spin.
When there were just 2 kids, I was able to maintain our home pretty well. I mean, it wasn’t in model showcase condition like it was pre-kids, but we could walk without tripping over shit and if an unexpected guest stopped by, I could throw crap in a closet or under a bed pretty damn fast. Now? Well now we look like we live in the damn Malcom in the Middle house. Minus the bitchy-ass wife, oh wait.
Vacuum cleaners are supposed to have a permanent spot in the living room right? If not, then the Goldfish, Cheerios and dog hair would.
Laundry being done, used to mean it was clean, dry, folded and put away – in the right drawers. Now if the clothes didn’t turn mildewy and is folded on the back of the couch, voila! Laundry done. If I’m extra ambitious, everyone’s piles are separated. Don’t hold your breath for mated socks.
Beds being made used to be the first goal of the day. It’s a little easier to accept notebooks, barbies, jewelery kits all being strewn about if the sheets are pulled into hospital corners and the shams have perfectly pointy, crisp corners. We are now on day 3 of messy bed. We are lucky if the bedspread is even balled up on the bed instead of thrown on the floor … with the dog laying on it … licking his junk.
So I try to hit the main areas right before bed and make sure they are tidy enough to be functional in the morning. Functional! When the hell did that become the goal? Kitchen – no food left out, no disgusting dishes in the sink. Yep, that’s the whole checklist. Most nights we settle for 1 out of 2. Clean floors, disinfect counters, empty trash can, put away dishes from drying rack – alllllllll of that, nope. Not anymore.
Dining room table … no sticky shit on it? Good to go. Captain America shield, Lego Batman, coloring book, tiny Spiderman – you’re all welcome to sleep there tonight.
Playroom – is there a clear path to walk? Awesome. Finally I can go brush my teeth and get in bed. Oh, a Batman mask in my bathroom? Puh-lease, that’s totally acceptable.
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