To my children,
Remember how I told you that you can be anything you want to be? Well, I lied. Here are some things that you are not allowed to be.
You are not allowed to be a whiney little whimp who hides under the guise of being nice when you’re really jabbing at someone. You got something you dont like? Say so. Has someone done something that made you upset? If you really care about each other you face the conflict respectfully and head on. Talk it out or let it go. No in between.
The world owes you nothing. See, I’m your mama and think you’re a gift from God whom I love to the edge of the universe. I spent the first couple years of your life making sure you learned how special and uniquely perfect you were. After the toddler years though, it’s time to make a shift. You learn the world does not revolve around pleasing you and you will not have things just put in your lap. You (yes, even little old 3 year old you) can contribute to your household, your family, your world in some way. I swear, any displays of entitlement in my presence will earn you a smack upside your head… yes, you will have earned that.
I’m not talking about physical laziness, although that isn’t tolerated either. Mental laziness is the big ‘hell no’ in this household. Do not tell me you can’t do something before you have even tried. If something is hard, you try harder. If you try and fail, you’ve lost nothing. If you fail to try, you’ve lost everything … including self respect.
The other day at lunch, you (my normally polite little 9 year old) were playing a game on an I-phone. The server came to take our drink order. I held it together until the server walked away, then you got the wrath of Mommy. “Give me that phone. You know better than that! When she comes back you need to look her in the eye and acknowledge her and respond like you’re supposed to.” This hits me hard for another reason I suppose; I worked as a server for many years.
Servers Adults don’t need some punk-ass kid acting like they’re too good to look someone in the eye. Once our server returned, she was greeted by a smiling 9-year-old ordering her meal with the manners I expect to be practiced.
This mean either outright lying or lying by omission. Trust me, I know when you’re lying and if I don’t immediately call you out, you should be even more concerned. I’m just giving you enough rope to hang yourself. The punishment will be commensurate with the extent of the lie. I can spot bullshit from a blimp in a fog storm. You only lie if you’ve done something you shouldn’t have done and you know it. The right way to handle that is to apologize. Sincerely.