A few obserations about Frozen

frozen

1. After giving such stellar parenting advice about suppressing emotions, does anyone know why the hell the parents left their kids?

I mean WTF is up with Disney hating parents? They always die or don’t even exist. Bambie’s mom? Shot. Dumbo’s mom? Locked up. Ariel? Does she even have a mom? What about Snow White? Well, I looked it up and her mom “died shortly after her birth”. Also she was 12 years old and roaming around the woods talking to animals and shacking up with 7 dudes.

2. What’s in that high altitude mountain air? It’s like the 2×4 was magically removed from Elsa’s ass and she went all a sex kitten, va-va-voom when she built her ice palace. Whatever it is she’s breathing in,  I wanna bottle that shit and sell it.

3. Thank you Disney for showing our girls that men can be scum who should not be trusted so quickly. Seriously, I know plenty of adult women who could learn from this and stop crying every time they find out their Prince Charming is a mooching ass loser.  Your man will be a bit of fixer-upper …  and let’s be honest, so are you. I’m down with realistic expectations and glad Disney caught on. The cherry on top of the ‘this-is-real-life sundae’ is Anna decking the douche nugget in the face. The double standard of domestic violence is fine by me.

4. Did Olaf really not have a nose before Anna impaled him with a carrot? I don’t recall a nose-less a snowman.

5. ” I don’t have a skull … Or bones.”   Yea, that’s not really an observation but it cracks me the hell up every time.

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10 thoughts on “A few obserations about Frozen

  1. This made me laugh. I haven’t seen it yet, nor have my kids (although somehow they know all the lyrics, thanks to everyone else at school), but I am going to see it next week. Meanwhile, I’m so tired of listening to kids sing the songs that I’m not even looking forward to it! 🙂 Oh well.
    Looking forward to reading more.

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      • Yes, we saw it Monday. While I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it again, it was rather cute, I thought. The point #3 above was refreshing for a Disney movie.
        My kids loved it. They thought the storekeeper, despite his very limited appearance, was the funniest character and are now going around trying to talk like him. 🙂

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  2. I’m about to go all lit theory here so forgive me ahead of time 🙂 DIsney movies, similar to Young Adult fiction stories, are predicated on having parents take a background role in order to have the child (protagonist) develop their sense of self and character on their own. I’ve written a couple of essays on the subject lol.

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