You know what’s fun? Working out. Oh man, I can’t even type that with a straight face.
You know what makes it even more fun? And by fun, I mean totally sucking huge elephant ass … Doing it as a family.
You know the pics your beautifully fit and healthy friends post of their little yogi demonstrating a perfect warrior pose? That’s not what it looks like in my house. There are no matching Lulu Lemon outfits. This, my friends is what a workout looks like in my house:
1. I’m doing it in the pajama pants and t-shirt I wore to bed last night.
2. Hopefully I remembered to go put a bra on this time. If not, I’ll remember by the first set of jumping jacks.
3. I am using ankle weights as dumb bells. If my kid joins in, he gets canned goods for weights.
4. There’s a nagging 4-year old standing right in my punch zone, begging me to give him more chocolate milk and a different cereal while yelling for me to wipe his ass and open the play dough.
5. More than once, I will do some modified version of high-knees while traveling through the house to accommodate the aforementioned requests.
6. A child will test my strength in the ultimate way – laying under me while I do planks. Seriously kid? You got a death wish?
7. The baby will wake with 7 minutes left of my DVD. Depending on the day I am either thankful or extremely annoyed. Either way, I don’t get a shower now.
And for the record, Jillian Michael’s should go to jail for attempted murder. Luckily my kids didn’t dial 911 when Mommy was face down on the floor gasping for air.
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