Saturday Morning Ain’t What It Used To Be

Pre-kids

Ahhh, Saturday morning. Guess I’ll roll out of bed at 10 am.  Hmmm I’m hungry.  Bacon….. pancakes …. bacon!!! Honey, wake up. Let’s go to Denny’s in sweat pants and a hoody.

1 kid

Saturday morning! We should get an early start. Here’s your warm oatmeal and some fresh fruit for breakfast. Wash it down with this delicious organic milk.  What fun adventure can we take our little one on today? Something to nourish your mind. The zoo? The park? A Gymboree class? I love our Saturdays together as a family!

2 kids

Ok, I’m up! I’m up damn it! Here, watch Sponge Bob while I get your breakfast. Fruity Pebbles for you … microwaved pancakes for you. We should probably get you guys out of the house before you unleash the Hurricane of action figures and toilet paper. Let’s go run some errands and then I’ll take you guys to Chick-Fil-A to run in the play area and possibly pick up Rotavirus.

3 kids

Ugh, stop jabbing your elbow into my boob. No, you can’t have a friend over today – have you seen what this house looks like? Is that poop I smell? Everyone out! Out of my bed! Coffee. Must have coffee. Ok already, I heard you! Cereal, cereal, cereal. We all heard you.  Here, take the whole damn box.  Whatever, eat the Twizzlers then.  Did I ever change that poop diaper? Is it Monday yet?

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